Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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