my mouth tastes like poor choices
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
