The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
