Why are handjobs necessary in class?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
