i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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