Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
