I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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