Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
we're so committed to being not committed
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
