She said her name was "party"
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
