He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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