you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
