There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
