I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
they're like a gay fantastic four
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
