Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize