Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
