it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
