Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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