P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Less talking, more tequila
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
