I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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