Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
50% drunk capacity currently
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
