I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
