Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
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