Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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