dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
