Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
