I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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