Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize