I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
