I hate your face
i permit you to call me
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Randomize
