the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
