If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
