That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize