he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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