Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Sorry about my life...
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
