Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
