so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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