i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
