I am in a vortex of obligation.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
