I hope mine doesn't look like that
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
