Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
