eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
