those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
