worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Couch. On fire.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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