turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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