I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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