I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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