Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize