u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
