I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
