I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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