I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
