im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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