Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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