How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
