she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
