Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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