..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
