Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
whose ass print is on the piano?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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